What does it take to motivate…

Do you feel a push when they discriminate..

When they tell you failure is your fate…

When they live of the negative and the hate…

Let me tell you what pushes me…

Its not gonna be a nice story…

Its not yet plotted out in history…

But its all the things I used to make me .. me….

Looking back at the times in my past…

All the times they told me that I wasn’t fast….

When they picked all the teams and they picked me last…

All they times they tried to put me in a cast…

Then look at all the time I put in…

Hours spent on the courts and in the gym…

Shooting balls after the lights went dim…

Just so I’d never go last again….

Jump ahead to when I was a teen….

I was so shy and the kids so mean…

They all had what I didn’t or so it seemed….

And they only pushed harder as the tears streamed…..

All the times that I got knocked down…

And all the times I gut up off the ground…

I never let them break me as I frowned…

As I screamed so loud but there was no sound….

Lets jump ahead to a later time in life….

When I had two kids and I had a wife…

When I worked all day then worked all night…

And the hardest part was trying not to fight…

What if I had not taken a stand…

If I would have kept being something less than a man…

If I would have just sat in the palm of their hand…

If I would have just stared at the dwindling sand….

Lets jump ahead to the present time…

Do you really think that everything is divine…

Do you think I live every day just fine…

Is it all fitting into place like designed….

Hell no its not worked out the way I wanted it to be…

But I don’t let my faults hinder me..

I am my biggest critic as you are about to see…

Nobody will judge me as harshly as me….

I am a man stuck working 3 jobs…

I’m so busy all the time I live like a slob…

My clothes always wrinkled you think I was robbed..

I live with my parents.. but that’s not where it stops…

So not just the fact that I hardly get paid…

I cant seem to remember the last time I got laid…

And my critics never seem to want to fade..

I’m always trying to earn that better grade…

But I have a purpose for this poetic little note…

Its all of you critics that help me the most…

So as you sit there and keep yourself afloat…

I feed on your hate and I use it the most…

Four years ago I wouldn’t sing a line…

And now I go out and sing all the time…

True as it is that it is far from divine…

But last time I checked your not singing this time…

So push on me with all of your might…

Because as you push I stand up and fight…

You seed the more you push and the more you hate…

The more you seal your own fate…

And that is one thing for me that is perfectly clear…

You’ll continue to hate…. Even in my rear view mirror.

 If you have a topic you would like me to address please email me at  mike@dontmikeitup.com

I get asked every so often, “Why do you care?”.  Have you ever actually tried to answer that question.  Really think about it.  Why do I care?  For me the answer is…I cant help it.  Somebody once told me that I have a big heart.  So true, and I wear it on my sleeve.  I care.  All the time.  Every day.  

So… What does that get me?  Why should I care??  The truth is that maybe I shouldn’t.  Maybe everything would be sooo much easier if I didn’t.  If I just ignored the world around me.  No, I cant live like that.  I care.  When I see somebody struggling, I care.  When I see somebody hurting I care.  When I see somebody happy, I care.  Hell, When I see an ex girlfriend hurting, I care.  I hurt for them.  

Many, and most people probably would view this as a weakness.  As one of those things that hold me back in life.  I don’t.  It is my strength.  My biggest strength.  By me caring, the people closest to me, my friends and family KNOW that I will do all I can for them.  By me caring, I have established the best relationships with people.  By me caring, I have had people do tremendous things for me just because I am a good person.  All because I care.  All because I take and interest, and take action and help others in need. 

Why care??  I think the bigger question is why not??  

Have you cared for someone today?? 

Mike

If you have a story or question for my blog email it to mike@dontmikeitup.com.  All names will be kept confidential.

A hero…. How do you define one?  On the eve of the launch of “The Avengers” movie, heroes have been on my mind.  It seems to me that when most people think of heroes, they think of Batman, or Superman, Iron man or Thor.  Many others think of Soldiers and police men.  All of those are heroes for sure.  Especially the police, and soldiers and firemen, but I want to salute the heroes that you never see.  The ones who never get the recognition they deserve or rarely want it.  The heroes in my life.  True every day heroes.  I will not reveal any real names in this post.  Instead each person I talk about will get a superhero name. :) 

THE ANGEL

 Angel, is truly that.  An angel.  She devotes her time and her money to the make a wish foundation.  She does it with all of her heart and soul.  Every day working with children that most likely are going to die of horrible diseases.  She enriches their lives.  These kids have little time left, but she helps fill that small amount of time with loving memories that not only they can enjoy but their families can as well.  She doesn’t just throw and event for a child and then walk away either.  She sets up play dates.  She visits them often.  Treating each child as if they are her own, and suffering the almost certain heartbreak that comes when they pass.  Each child takes a piece of her with them, and each child leaves a piece of them with her, and yet…. She is unwavering.  She continues to fight.  Continues to devote every ounce she has to these kids.  He heart and soul into each one.  She doesn’t do it for recognition or glory.  She is a true hero.  An Angel. 

WONDER WOMAN

She is so strong.  Selfless, this woman slaves every day w/o recognition of what she does.  She gets up early every morning and gets her kids off to school, works all day, comes home and cooks, and cleans with little to no help.  Wonder woman is probably the most scrutinized of all the heroes I know.  She does all of this work and instead of being celebrated, she’s belittled.  Shunned.  Put down every chance there is, and yet she continues.  Unwavering in her determination.  Selfless to her core she is a hero to all heroes.  A true wonder to behold.

SUPERMAN

Superman is truly super.  He is not immortal though.  He is super in fact because he is very mortal.  He is dying.  He has a terminal form of cancer.  Certain death.  It eats him from the inside out like a shard of kryptonite, but Superman is unphased.  He pushes on, and he saves people.  You see superman is a motivational speaker.  He helps spread the power of positivity everyday.  Working with corporations and other organizations he pushes positive actions and thoughts.  This man of steel could easily give up and nobody would blame him, but not only does he not give up… he FIGHTS!!  With HEART!!!  And ENERGY!!!  *High five*   Superman will die, but he never will truly die.  The legacy of this hero will live on in every life he touches, and trust me that number is in the upper thousands!!!  He flies high above the rest.  A real SUPER MAN!!

My last hero is one nobody will ever expect…. 

AVERAGE JOE/JANE

This hero works hard every day.  They are kind and sweet and motivated.  They do all the little things.  They lend an ear when necessary, pick up a tab for a friend in need.  Bring an extra taco to lunch to share with the coworker that is broke and hungry.  They lend a car to a friend in need.  Give a dollar to somebody when they are $.50 short of buying something in their checkout line.  They smile and look people in the eye.  Live without judgment.  They don’t resent, or hate.  They respect everybody.  Event the people who have hurt them the most.  Always lending a kind word.  Always catching people when they fall.  They live for it.  Knowing full well they don’t have the money or the time to do the things that many other heroes do, they do the work that most people neglect.  The help build and shape people one person at a time.  Not for money, not for fame, not for recognition, but for the feeling it give them inside.  The fulfillment of helping others.  They do it because they want to be the person that they want when they fall.  To be the hero they long for in their own life. 

They, are YOU!!  Be a hero today.  Be a hero every day.  You got this. :) 

Mike 

If you have a topic that you would like me to cover in my blog, email me at mike@dontmikeitup.com.  All identities will be kept confidential.

 I sometimes wonder if I’m delusional…  I mean… is there such a person as “Miss Perfect”, and why can I not accept anything less??  The truth is quite simple.  After my divorce I have had an AMAZING dating track record.  I’ve had 3 girlfriends and they all set the bar HIGH.  Collectively now the bar is so high, that nothing less then that bar will do for me anymore.   Is that too much to ask??  Maybe it is.  Beauty, Brains, Personality, Maturity, Adventurous….  is there really a woman who ranks a 10 in ALL OF THESE??  I’m banking on it!!!

I’ve had a lot of friends who tell me, “Dude, just go out and smash as much a$$ as you can.”  A tempting offer for sure, and it would be sooo easy… but the thing of it is…  I have no interest.  Randoms all the time, its boring, unsatisfying, and not in my DNA.  Cant do it, don’t want to.  I mean don’t get me wrong.. I enjoy “sexy time” just as much as the next guy, but not just because I can.  Call me old fashioned or whatever you want but, I prefer to actually like the girl I’m with.  Novel concept.. I know…  but it’s just the way I’m wired. 

Lately it’s been crazy.  I’m already sooo busy, and my time is precious, but the attention I’m getting is a bit overwhelming.  Let me break it down for you ladies out there.  Being drunk and easy, not sexy.  Just slutty.  It’s getting bad.  I can’t count how many times I get hit on by drunk and easy girls.  Its actually quite annoying.  5 years ago, I wouldn’t have said this.  Hell I probably would slap myself for saying it, but you live, you learn, and I have.

If a woman wants my attention, be bold.  Be independent.  Be adventurous.  Be classy.  Have goals.  Have dreams, and FIGHT FOR THEM!!!  Talk to me.  Don’t bag on your ex, don’t complain all the time.  Just be honest, open sincere, and fun.     That is soooooooo HOT. 

Many women think I’m shallow.  That I only go for the pretty girls.  I’ll be honest.. ya, but I go for the pretty girls INSIDE!!!  The ones that work hard and play hard.  The ones that don’t sweat the small stuff.  The ones that are happy with who they are or working to be who they are or know what they want.  That personality, that drive, that heart, that determination is what I really want.  Its beyond sexy.  It’s something surreal. 

So… as I was saying….

Paging Ms. Perfect…..  *still waiting*

Blog number two…  I got this. 

Today, I’m going to focus on Positivity.  I was once the least positive person you would ever meet.  To the point actually where if my former self met my current self, my former self probably would want to punch current self in the face.   I subscribed to “Murphy’s law”.  *If anything bad can happen it probably will*.  In truth, I secretly still do, but…..  I am much more prepared to deal with it now.  I’ve learned a valuable lesson.  It isn’t what happens to you that defines now your life will go… Its how you handle it.    My life is no easier today then it was 4 years ago.  In many ways its much more difficult.  The difference is how I handle it.  In the past I would get very frustrated, and depressed.  I would blame others, I would blame myself, I would ignore the problem.  Now, I still have all of those urges, but I fight.  I force myself to look at it another way.  To look at them as challenges, not calamities.  Above all I realize that I must remain positive.  Hold on to HOPE.  Understand that this problem will come, and it may be tough, but it will also go just like the other problems. 

No matter what the problem is, it will come and it will go no matter what.  YOU hold the key on how fast it goes and if you overcome it or not.  If you are positive, you still may not overcome the challenge.  You still may lose.  You still may get overwhelmed, but you can take solace in the fact that you fought.  That you didn’t give in.  If you wallow in self pity and look at it negatively, you may get lucky and the problem might just go away, but you still will never experience what it feels like to overcome it.  It’ll be just this one thing that went away this one time.  Nothing more.  Being positive, being a fighter gives you strength.  It builds character, and it gives you confidence to fight again.  To take on challenges.  To be bigger.

I get a lot of crap about the things I say and that I do.  “I got this” being the leading one, but they help.  The cheesy mottos and the cliché phrases are just that by themselves, but for me they carry meaning.  I put my heart into them.  I genuinely mean every one of those “I got this” moments.  Its more then just a cheesy self fulfilling pep talk.  Its HOPE, and it drives me.  I don’t always succeed, but I always DO.  Do you??

Choose to be positive today.  It just might change your whole life. 

You got this. 

Mike

If you would like me to address a certain topic please feel free to email me at mike@dontmikeitup.com.  All submissions will be kept confidential.  No private information will be publicly shared.

First blog post… I better make this count.    I got this. 

Breakups seem to be in the air lately.  Somber moods all around me.  I often get the call or text around break up time.  God knows I’ve been through enough of them.    They always start the same.  “I’m just not sure about him/her.  I love them but ……”  , and it always ends at “but……”. 

Here is the deal.  At some point in many to most relationships we reach that point of uncertanty.  Even in the right ones we do.  Its natural.  Picking
“the one” is a big deal.  It weighs heavy on the mind and the heart.  You wonder, you question, you second guess, but the deal is this.  Its not complicated.  You have a heart for a reason.  Follow it. 

Simple rules people.  If you are not sure you should be with somebody, you shouldn’t.  Not for you, for them!!  Don’t they deserve to have somebody who WANTS THEM??!!!  In most cases the answer to this question is YES!!!  The problem is that many and even most relationships are settling for somebody who is under the mental bar that we set.  Why??  Simple…. we are alone.  Alone is scary, and its… well for lack of a better word… lonely.    When we do this it works for a while, but inevitably the feelings of “this person isn’t what I was looking for” start to creep in.  They don’t meet the bar.  Don’t you deserve the best???  The answer to that question is ALWAYS yes!!!  Yes you do.  So to avoid the breakups, the first step is to be more selective in the first place.  Suck it up people!!  Being alone is still easier then dealing with the guilt of being with somebody you don’t want to be with.  You feel bad, and most of the time they can sense that you are uneasy or that something is wrong.  Recipe for disaster.  You deserve amazing, and so do they, so be selective.

If you do find yourself in a scenario where you are not sure its right… be HONEST!!!  With yourself, and with them.  Accept it yourself, and TELL THEM.  “But they might break up with me if I do.”, your saying.  Well, your right.  They might, but then you KNOW.  Anybody who really wants to be with you will try to work things out and be understanding.  If they dont, they will walk, and you know they are not right for you.  Remember the goal of dating in the first place people.  Its not to trap somebody, its to find a companion to SHARE your life with.  Not to make them you life, but to share what you have to offer with them.  You want them to want you.  They need to show that, and so do you.  Being HONEST is a huge part of all of that, and being honest with yourself is often the first step.

Telling them is always the hardest part.  It requires seeing or hearing that look or sound in their voice.  Its always painful.  Never easy, but remember this, If you want to let them go, then they deserve better then you.  You want somebody who wants you, right??  Well, so do they, and they deserve that.  It doesn’t mean your a bad person, it means your just not the right person for them.  You are doing them a favor, and if you care at all, you will let them go.  Let them get over you, and let them find somebody better suited for them.  If they yell, or scream, well then you KNOW you made the right choice.  That is validation that they are not right for you.  Anybody who really cares will be able to let you go even if its the last thing they want in the whole world.  Your happiness would come first, and for you, theirs should too.

Well, good luck to all of you unhappy couples who are on the verge of letting it go, and remember…

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end….”

Till next time.

Mike

If you have a question or story for me that you would like me to answer on the blog, email me at mike@dontmikeitup.com.  All stories and emails will be anonymous.